Five Sentence Fiction ~ Shadows

 Eden

English: Auchenroddan Forest The mature forest...

Auchenroddan Forest  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the deep-rooted shadows upon which the forest stands, where nothing grows except moss and the debris piles of winter-felled branches and twigs, they heard the stuttering k-r-r-r-r-r-k like that of an opening door to a derelict shack.

But around Jerry Lilly and his brother Ben, padding through the shadows, there was no abandoned home except last year’s finch’s nest and the insect domicile within the pine upon which a woodpecker hammered another k-r-r-r-r-k.

“This noise where there’s nothing around creeps me out, man,” Ben said.

“Someday, little brother, you’ll find such ‘noise,’ as you call it, a blanket of quiet comfort, the caress of natural music far from the crash and soul-crunching violence in the city to which you’ll run as often as possible for its peace,” said Jerry.

“Okay, I get it, but it’s so darn dark in here, how the hell are we supposed to see anything well enough to shoot it?” Ben said, shifting the new rifle to his shoulder and swinging it around in carefree arcs.

© Joseph Hesch 2013

This week’s little story is written in response to Lillie McFerrin’s Five-Sentence Fiction prompt “Shadows.”

Lillie McFerrin Writes

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11 thoughts on “Five Sentence Fiction ~ Shadows

  1. I enjoyed the irony of the last two paragraphs juxtaposing an escape from the “soul-crunching violence in the city” with what gives me the impression of a hunting accident waiting to happen…

  2. That’s a mesmerising photo. It could inspire any number of poems and tales, What I especially relish here is the title: Eden – and the trail of thoughts that gives rise to.

  3. Joe, I really like you took the shadows to a different location. For some reason I’ve been thinking pavement, but to use the backdrop of the forest, you’ve been able to go in an intriguing direction. You’ve also built up the suspense effectively. Really well done. :))

  4. Pingback: Five Sentence Fiction #2 | Dirty Laundry

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