I might've surrendered, if I had a sword to offer. But all I have is a pen, one mighty in myth alone. I won’t bow, even though I’m already bent by the weight of sorrow looped ‘round my neck. But I won't fall, because I’m so sick of the taste of dirt I refuse to crawl in apparent supplication. Yes, with empty hands, love has beaten me again. So you can have this pen, this key to a heart I've too often locked with it. It’s gone empty, too. But I’ll never surrender while my soul can still speak the language of your soul. Because love doesn't require words; words are merely the filigree surrounding the mirror in which love recognizes love. Even if it's scarred and beaten, with no sword, no pen, no poetry. Only open hands, an open heart and a soul brave and giving. You'll know me when you see me.
Month: August 2021
Like My Words Touch Your Heart
When I’m done here, perhaps I'll have touched you, and, in turn, you might reach out to touch me. I haven’t given nor received it much, too, not in a warm to warm sense and such, see. Is it only with words that we connect? No, we sense our feelings from a distance. Words’ warmth a thermometer can’t detect, not like skin might with skin in this instance. But the human touch is something we’ve lost, for so long, both giving and receiving. Perhaps, to you my embrace feels like frost, but we can’t see, since feeling’s believing. Or I guess we could go on just as we are, comfortably sharing our affection, with my hands on these keys and this space bar, yours touching glass and your own reflection. So this poem’s done, hope you felt it, too, and thus in its own way it did its part. It’s not enough, but the best I can do, until we touch like my words touch your heart.
All the Tomorrows I Have Left Are on the Right Side of This Book
Tomorrow it begins, this next day of what I hope are many more. Not so much that I want to live forever, but more that I want however many new days granted me be shared with you. Many “however many.” That may seem foolish or selfish or even perched on the edge of ludicrous, but when the shadow of the finite stretches toward you from a Horizon that doesn't move away as it did from youthful you, life feels like it’s the right side of a book that suddenly got good now shrinking thinner and thinner than you’d ever prefer. Yes, I know that’s how life and literature work, but I've no sequel in my pocket, only an everlasting love and a desire to longer enjoy the words we share, those we haven’t yet and the ones we might have, could have, but never did. Like You and Love and Me.
Where the Sun Shines on Nothing But This Moment
On my side of the mountain
there’s not much but regret,
only ashes and scorched trees
standing in their shadow-creature
accusatory way, ever pointing and
reminding me how I always took the wrong
forks in the road and almost became lost.
They said that on your side,
the forest is thick with shadows, too,
and no one moves forward to the mountain,
always worrying whether any dark thing
ahead is going to hurt them. But
I’ll bet they're just swinging tree limbs,
all wind and no threat. Like a shadow.
If I was to get off my sooty knees
and scrape them up the mountain,
would you shinny your sometimes shaky ones
up there, too? Because I don’t want
to choke on any ashes of regret anymore.
And I’ll guess you don’t want to hide
in the shadows from even more shadows.
If I take your hand and you grab mine
once we’ve reached the peak,
there’s little chance we’ll fall
from where the sun shines on nothing but
this moment and the only shadows we see
are our own, cast down the fall line, into
the shady past and future from which we rose.
I Really Want to Know
With the sun so high and hot, the only shadows lie directly beneath the trees. The little buildings and addresses sit there in shades of golden brown or sugar white like baked goods fresh from the oven. But they’re not. A few are fresh, all proofed and kneaded by same-named bakers, but most just sit there growing stale and lonely, even among all the neighbors left, right, front and back, we never knew. Nobody peers over the walls and says, “How ya doin’?” ‘Cause everybody knows. Over there, a visitor sits on a folding chair in the bare, baking sun, his hands clasped, leaning forward, his head dripping, his cheeks even more. I see his lips moving, like the old Italian ladies’ do as they click through their rosaries, wishing for something they don’t want to believe'll never happen. And I wonder what he’s saying and I wonder to whom. Wife, mother? Sister, brother? Son, daughter, maybe his lover? For a moment, I want to step through this quiet neighborhood, just to walk by and see who he’s visiting, maybe hear his side of the conversation. But then I remember why I came here. So I pick my way through the yards, not wishing to disturb them as I might that quiet man. And I stop by your place, ignoring your neighbor. I look down and say, “Hi, Mom. How ya doin’?” ‘Cause I figure here, as the cars and trucks roll by, where nearly no one talks, except the man and me, I really want to know.
Another If Only
I awakened again before I was ready, wondering why I never was so. It was five-something and I heard a tune playing over and over, though there wasn’t a sound in the room except that shut-eyed sigh. The blackout curtains held back morning over the East's ash and pine. But I couldn’t black out again as I began pining over the ashes of those lost years, mourning the missing lives we didn’t lead. If only I’d listened closer to the songs we shared, would’ve shared, could’ve… I should’ve awakened, known when you sighed, you were ready. If only…
The Twist I Wasn’t Expecting
I’m lost in the air. Down there I know hard hard reality awaits, and blindly trusting I can land on my feet from this elevation is pure folly. It’ll hurt. Bad. And I fear that’s how it’s gonna be, because the marauder’s decided it’s the right time to commandeer my imagination, shanghai my focus and fire a broadside at my inside. I know he’s there, no longer hiding, but still out of sight, like the inevitable floor, the painful twist ending to a story I thought written in the stars that flash flash flash by until one of us writes The End. Not what you think it means. Maybe someday I'll explain.